Where I grew up, men participating in physical expression like dance and burlesque was frowned upon- I remember hearing people say things like “ballet is for girls” and poke fun at men who expressed themselves through dance. Not to mention arts like pole dance were far too provocative to even be mentioned to even be discussed in common culture. And so, I kept this part of myself hidden and never allowed myself to explore it for fear of being outcasted. My desire to perform and to dance freely felt far too taboo.
When I moved to the US for grad school, the idea of dancing crossed my mind, but life always seemed too busy. I kept finding excuses not to start.
About two years ago, I felt like my life was drifting into a horrible direction and I had no way to stop it. Like I was strapped into the front seat of a terrifying roller coaster. I felt so much uncertainty- about finishing grad school, about keeping my job, about the direction where my life was headed. I’d hit my rock bottom, and instead of settling in, I decided to rebuild my life from the ground up.
I started by first putting my priorities back in order. I focused on finishing school and regaining stability in my job while making time to create peace within myself. It was here that I found a renewed sense of time and clarity. The thought of trying pole drifted back into my mind. I didn’t know where to start, but I felt ready to explore.
At the beginning of 2024, I was vacationing with my friends in the desert when one of them had shared how pole dance reconnected her to self. Her story and her enthusiasm affected me and as soon as I’d made it back to San Diego, I started looking for the right studio.
I took my first class about seven months ago, and I remember feeling incredibly insecure and apprehensive. Nervous, even! But just a few minutes into the class my insecurities dissolved . The instructor, Anna, guided us through each move with patience in a relaxed, pressure-free environment. Before I knew it, the 50-minute class was over. Those fifty minutes just felt like they flew by. I was learning new movements and the correct technique while reconnecting with my body and feeling in control. I felt connected to my body for the first time in a long time, and my strength and confidence grew with every session. .
After a few classes, I realized that I wasn’t just falling in love with pole dancing—I was rediscovering myself and reclaiming my confidence. After completing the intro program, I decided to continue my pole journey at AK Pole Dance Studio where every spin and every movement gives me the chance to look inward, believe in myself and focus on the present. The positivity and inspiring instructors motivate me to push myself in ways I'd never imagined. Recently, I completed one of their Ayesha clinics with Anna K, and it was a great experience. The program was well-structured, and Anna shared so much valuable knowledge.
Though I’ve only recently started pole dancing, the positive impact it’s already had on my life makes me certain that I will continue training. Pole dancing will always be a part of who I am. –Ingram
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